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Jag mår just nu jätte dåligt där jag ligger nerbäddad i min soffa med barnen runt om mig. Utan röst, med frossa och feber, försvagad kropp. Telefonen går varm av missade samtal, sms, mail, dms och kommentarer på alla plattformar jag är kopplad till. Det är ett otacksamt inlägg du kommer få läsa nu för jag vet att jag borde vara lyrisk över allt i mitt liv, men det är jag inte. Jag har inte varit det på länge och misstänker att jag inte kommer vara det på ett bra tag framöver heller.

En position som blivit alltför vanlig. Jag i fosterställning med hög feber, utmattad och utslagen framför ugnen…

Ni vet redan att jag har tre barn, två pojkar och en flicka. Min förstfödde tycks ha all världens kaos i sin lilla kropp och knopp. För den nyfikna så har han diagnoserna adhd, tvångssyndrom, autism och utvecklingsstörning. Nu troligtvis även epilepsi. Tidigare har jag sagt att det är hans styrkor men jag ljög. Det är bördor som tynger honom, stressar och pressar honom. Och oss andra i familjen. Innan ni säger nåt om hur bra LSS osv är bespara mig era falska sanningar för ingen jag talat med i samma sits får den hjälp de faktiskt behöver för att inte deras barn och familj ska gå under. Samma gäller oss. Nu har även vår yngsta fått diagnosen adhd. Jag själv är under utredning för adhd, depression & ptsd. Livet leker, heja!

Min egna Picasso har målat detta fina verk!

I söndags gjorde jag mitt sista stora arrangemang, Glamation day. Mitt avsked till industrin och en kamp jag dedikerat fjorton långa och tunga år till. Trots motgångar under dagen lyckades vi göra ett fantastiskt arrangemang med många viktiga element som lyftes. Jag är enkelspårig så ni kan gissa er till att fokus var mångfald och inkludering. Är du nöjd, undrar de flesta jag talat med. Ja, jag är nöjd men nästa års show kommer att utföras på annat sätt. Innan min avgång ifrån min verksamhet ska jag utforma en action plan med notiser från i år. Jag kan helt klart säga att mat delen kommer utföras utan hänsyn till andra än kvällens schema. Seminarierna kommer även dom att ske på annat vis. Utställarna från i år är magiska och jag hoppas de medverkar nästa år! Likaså modellerna, vilken styrka och juryn var inte sämre dom heller. Wow!

Foto taget av Katriina Mäkinen på vinnarna av Signature look 2018

Men jag är trött. Trött på att kämpa i motvind både hemma och i jobbet. Man kan tro att det vore enkelt att jobba för mångfald och inkludering men det är ett konstant stångandes. I tid och otid. Vi går två steg fram och tyvärr tre steg bakåt just nu. Inte LeNoir som verksamhet utan vi, människor i detta land och framförallt i denna bransch. Det tar på mig och jag måste fylla min tank eftersom jag känner att jag inte har mer att ge. Jag har gett allt jag kan och förmår. Nu måste jag kliva åt sidan och låta andra föra kampen vidare. För den tar inte slut bara för att jag försvinner. Nej den lever kvar, och behöver nytt blod som för oss ur det hål vi sakta ramlar tillbaka i. Och jag har försonats med verkligheten av att stå vid sidan om denna strid för nu. Mitt fantastiska team gör det möjligt för mig att känna mig trygg i mitt beslut. Dom är de ni bör tacka i era inlägg och tankar!

Old but gold!

Jag själv ser detta som en andra chans till att ta tag i saker jag länge velat göra men inte kunnat. Som att skriva en (flera!) bok, artiklar till Blogozine och krönikor till Signature reports. Lära mig nya saker, som att köra bil, mma, inredning eller nya skönhetstermer. Vara hemma mamma, bygga lego, torka snor och baka kakor till klassträffar. Eller en sån enkel sak som att kunna hälsa på vänner, familj och mysa med mig själv på mitt favvo fik!

Bild lånad av Bröd&salt, som fyi har de godaste kakorna ever!

Jag är bitter & less just nu. Vilket kanske hörs i min ton i detta inlägg. Men jag är självklart även hoppfull för framtiden och vet att med er vid min sida kommer jag hitta mig själv igen. Men starten av denna resa behöver jag göra själv och därför kommer jag skärma av mig, vara ”dryg” och inte svara på allt. Tacka nej till saker jag känner att kroppen inte orkar med även om jag gärna vill få inbjudan. Jag kommer bita ifrån när ni kräver av mig utan förståelse för min rådande situation och jag kommer göra detta utan skam eller skuld. För jag hoppas att ni innerst inne förstår mig och mina skäl till detta.

Tack för ert stöd under mina många hittepå och all kärlek ni ger mig. Vill ni följa en mycket tråkigare Aysha så är ni välkomna att göra det på min nya Instagram som ni finner om ni söker på mitt riktiga namn. Vi låter Aysha vila ett tag, hon checkar härmed ut.

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En liten morgon rant…

En liten morgon rant…

Måste få ranta lite denna tidiga söndag. Talat med många som säger samma sak nämligen och det stör mig att vi kan kollektivt gå ihop och rätta normativa människors misstag & fel men vi rättar inte våra egna eller backar våra egna.

Ex Emma Hallberg grejen. JÄTTE BRA reagerat & agerat utav folk. Men vrf läggs inte samma krut på att boosta ex en influencer som kunde ha fått de platser, uppdrag etc som Emma ”tog”?!

Hänger ni med hur jag menar?! Kampen måste alltid, enligt mig, vara tvåsidig. Inte bara en kamp där vi rättar de wrongdoings andra gör mot oss. Utan också att vi checkar oss själva och BACKAR oss själva. Lika kollektivt som när vi står upp mot de vi ansett gjort fel måste vi lyfta de som faktiskt gör rätt. Eller?!

Missförstå mig rätt nu. Call them out & all, I mean drag them if you must. Men glöm inte se bjälken i våra egna ögon. Vår bjälke är att vi inte lyfter och supportar varandra enough. Jag är inget undantag i många fall så jo jag kastar sten i glashus. But somebody had to say it so…

Tips på poc influencers vi kan lyfta, mer:

Irene Ekelund, elitidrottare/stylist/mua

Harriet Kyolaba, kreatör & powermum

David ”Mr Davvee” de Fataki, artist & instagrammer

Foto Hugoahero

Foto Johlinaphotography

Kan ge fler tips men nöjer mig här. Vill ni följa & supporta mig finns jag här på min blogg, min insta @iamayshajones & snart mer på YouTube.

/Aysha

Ps. Passar skamlöst på att göra reklam för min mini mässa, Glamation, nästa söndag, 25/11 kl. 10.00-18.00 på Skyddsrummet. Den är för alla och finns massa kul som en kan göra för enbart 75kr. De första 100 gästerna får även en lyxig goodiebag värd ca 3000kr!!!

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Flawless makeup needs flawless skin!

Flawless makeup needs flawless skin!

Don’t fool yourselves babes, without a skin on fleek no makeup will look good and most importantly stay good throughout the day! This I learnt from my teachers at Makeupstudion makeup school, which may I say is the best makeup school in Sweden. I might be bios but hey, aren’t we all sometimes?

I’m always complimented for my flawless skin but do you know how I prep my skin?

I did a interview yesterday (I’ll share it once it’s out) and we came to the conclusion that I got about 40 products, give or take some, that I use on a regular basis. I know it’s sick. All though I love those products it’s definitely not necessary to have all of them, my setup consists of various serums, day creams etc. because I like to use different brands products depending on how my mood is. You however, you can do great with just one pair of each item. Saves you a lot too!

Well this is what I do, pre-makeup that should last an entire day that is.

1. Wash off with a soft peeling scrub and makeup remover. Quick wipe off with a micellar water.

2. Face mask. Right now I’m trying out a mask from Kiss NY Pro with active charcoal. My favorite however is the ones from Acasia but they cost more so I only use them for special occasions.

3. Serum & day cream. I’m a sucker for Idun minerals skincare products in general and they’re my to go to brand but right now I’m mixing it up with another wünder product the heavenly drops & extra loving cream from Palina.

4. Face mist. I love to use Rosenserien’s rose water for this part!

5. After all of this sometimes I spray a bit of NYX settingspray or I just go ahead and apply my makeup.

One thing I do know is that my makeup does last long, for example in these photo I’m wearing yesterday’s makeup & it still looks very natural and ok.

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The pressure of press week!

The pressure of press week!

So we just ended a fabulous press week here in Stockholm and I must say it feels rather awkward to run around to different showrooms and brands events because it’s something I did a lot of starting up like 14 years ago and left because of the way people handled their happenings. Meaning the lack of diversity. No sugarcoating!

Not much has changed but it’s gotten a little bit better. There are still some who refuses to see the major wins in targeting a broad range of people. However there’s those who thrive to the occasion both in invited guests and execution of their press days. These are this seasons favorite press events.

Red & Square

The firm handles brands like Diechmann, Espirit, Naim Josefi and more. They’re always attending to each guest themselves, mingling and encouraging one to feel at home with a glass of bubbles and delicious snacks. No wonder why everyone gets stuck there longer than intend. I also love how they don’t crowd the showroom with brands and products which allows you to really take in each brands news and ask about them without stress!

My favorite items from their press day:

Let’s face it

Most of my favorite products are from brands they represent such as Idun, Real technique, Eco tools, Wet n Wild etc. Their newest brand is the Wild nutrition from UK which offers a food based nutrition pills with a little extra focus on the female needs. I’ll write more about them as soon as I’ve tried the products because they seemed very interesting and like something I need!

Here’s a few shots from the Wild nutrition luncheon. I’ve all ready posted, twice, about the Idun news. Hope you read those if not do so now.

Isadora

A Swedish brand I actually grew up with but stopped using later on out of reasons I can’t remember. They hosted their press day at the luxurious hotel Diplomat in central Stockholm and you know I love myself a good hotel suite party & Isadora did not hold back on the glam factor! Everything was perfectly planned and executed with the awesome makeup artist Martin himself offering full glam face beats & presenting the news.

Last but not least I loved the press breakfast at Juno PR for Swedish CCS.

Juno PR has mastered the art of hosting a fabulous breakfast event and even though I do love my sleep I don’t feel salty when they ask me to get up and be active early morning. Everything is always flawlessly matched with the setting, table decor and of course the presentations! I love the fact that they always manage to snatch the young and modern PR reps to their teams and they have an eye for how to make awkward bloggers like myself feel comfortable.

CCS is Sweden’s and UK’s leading brand for foot care products and their launch came jam packed with knowledge (love it!) and products to try. I’m trying them out after the Glamation gala and off course I’ll share my two cents here later on.

I’m exhausted from being so social everyday for a week and been sleeping it off most of the days this week. Hopefully after the weekend’s shenanigans I can get back to basics and start trying some products. Hang with me on Instagram if you miss me, I pony regularly there.

/Aysha

Photos of the Isadora event was taken by Polly <3

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3 is the magic number!

3 is the magic number!

I’m so excited for today I woke up much earlier than I had to. I know, miracles do happen they say…

Reason for my excitement is the spa day I’ve been invited to by Idun minerals for the launch of their new products. Apart from new haircare products they’re finally(!) launching the product I’ve hinted about all summer in my blog and on Instagram, the tinted day cream which actually has my tone!!!

Their product developer Caroline gave me the honor of testing the very first batch and even though I couldn’t use that one my mother could. She’s a bit fairer in her tone than I. I gave my feedback to the lady with the magic touch and she took them right to heart and short after sent out a new batch for me to try and it was a match made in heaven! Ever since I’ve actually stopped using foundation daily and most often use the day cream with a setting powder or just as it’s. I love using it with the foundation powder from Idun as well!

I’m Helga & Helga is I!

My Idun foundation tone is Helga and as you could see on my stories the other day it’s time to buy a new one. For those wondering where you can get their full range I recommend the pharmacy in Kista, just opposite my favorite restaurant (yes it’s a restaurant because they got food and chairs!) McDonald’s. They most often have all the tones and products!

In these below unedited photos I only have the day cream on with my favorite lipstick and a brow gel. All from Idun, of course!Gotta share some photos of the awesome girl power team at Idun! Couldn’t find the photo of me & Efsane tho and I don’t think I have any photo of Gabi. Love the kissing photos of me & Cecilia haha!

Make sure to catch my insta live today at 2pm (14.00) and then again once we arrive at the spa!

/Aysha

Ps. If your a poc person struggling to find your perfect foundation match do dm me on Instagram and I’m more than happy to help!

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The lessons of a narcissistic selfie!

The lessons of a narcissistic selfie!

I know that this will sound super shallow but bare with me, ok? Keep reading. I’ve been at my lowest low this summer. Emotionally and with my health that’s.

I realized people I care about only cared about what I could do for them and that those closest to me would think twice to leave me “high and dry” as the saying goes.

I’ve found myself in my own vomits, blood, passed out, worn out, intoxicated on alcohol and frankly just out of my senses.

Yet I was the most I’m touch with myself, my feelings and my entire being at this period too. I’ve never cared as much about me as when I totally stopped caring. Meaning, when I stopped chasing imaginary unicorns and took the horses for what they really are. Horses. No unicorns, no glits and definitely no glam! When I started killing my darlings, reorganizing and prioritizing people, things and goals in my life. All this I actually “realized” by looking closely to all my selfies from past years. It sounds a bit crazy I know but this is kind of what I learned from “studying” my selfies.

• My eyes tells it all. My mood, my state, my everything.

• Everything is better with a bit of makeup and the infamous Snapchat filter. You know which I mean!

• My lips are really dry which means I need to be better at drinking water. Hydration is key right?!

• I can’t fake a smile, not irl or even for a photo there’s just too much #realness in me.

• My selfies are better when they aren’t selfies. Because not everyone is good at taking selfies and I’m blessed with extremely good selfie photographers around me!

• Most likely a perfect selfie means I’m not doing well and that’s why I exceed in anything that can keep me occupied.

Do you think I’m reading too much into this or that I’m on to something? Feel free to tell me either in the comments or on my Instagram. I’d love to hear your take on this regardless if you agree or not!

/Aysha

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Mother oh mother, why is your heart so heavy?!

Mother oh mother, why is your heart so heavy?!

Let’s talk about that gold ol’ mother’s guilt trip that sooner or later hits (most) mums. Have you felt it? Has your mother? Or maybe her mother?https://www.ayshajones.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/68/2018/09/img_7836.mov

I’m asking because on my recent trip to London in line for a show talking to what then was total strangers that’s the one thing we instantly built a bond on. Guilt! It seems as if regardless of how much you do or give your kids, as a mother you will ALWAYS feel like you could have done or given more. Better. It’s exhausting and frankly quite depressing! No wonder why women have a hard time being mothers and not loosing their own dreams and ambitions for themselves.

And yes boo I’m very aware of father’s being able to feel the same or both being able to not loose themselves and so on. But let’s be honest for a minute, how many do you know they don’t feel like crappy parents even though they’re the best parents they can be.

Why do we feel like this?! I think it’s because society tells us when one has a child ones should be consumed by them and devote their entire being to that child. And yes having a child is a beautiful thing but must it be everything *insert thinking emoji*!

For me I’ve noticed that this infamous guilt trip has held me back as a person and that unknowingly resulted in me being bitter and unhappy with myself, my situation and life. I’m learning day by day to say fvuxk it and accepting as well as acknowledging my need to have my own life. Apart from these wonderful monsters of that I love with all my soul. To quote a woman I met when out with Joanne

I might be off with this one but I think not. What you think? Do take my poll in my stories on Instagram.

/Aysha

Ps. All photos except the video on top is from when my kids were itsy bitsy babies!

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Malta vibes, join me!

I’m entering a new way of living life. I call it do whatever you like and everything that scares you type of living! It’s really refreshing and most of all freeing, highly recommended.

One of my do whatever you like shenanigans is my birthday trip to Malta that’s coming up pretty soon. I don’t think I’ve spend a single birthday away from my kids ever. And definitely not in the past 7 or so years as my youngest also has his birthday the day after me and up to now I could never imagine not being here for his birthday! Or any of my other kids birthdays either. But I’ve gone through so much this summer and my whole body and soul needed a reason to get away for a while on something that won’t be just work. So I forced my friends to join me on some shenanigans in one of my favorite places, Malta!

Photo taken by Katriina Mäkinen in Malta

To see more of my time there I suggest you follow my stories on Instagram as I won’t be blogging those days.

Well look at this fancy hotel (yet so affordable!) we found on bookings.com who also owns the photos!

Have you ever been to Malta? If not I recommend you go at least once! Should you be there during the time I’m there then do slide in my dm to get invited to our birthday fun, I’d love to meet as much cool people as possible. That’s when I’m not chilling by that fancy pansy pool or drinking bubbles on our balcony!

/Aysha